Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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