ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
