You're my little dorito
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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