Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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