He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize