Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
