he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize