So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
