Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Quick, to the slutcave!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
