It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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