hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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