I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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