My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
