I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
