why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
