have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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