Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
