I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
