Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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