So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
