dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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