I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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