Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
