just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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