So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
