Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
