Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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