We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
