After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
