We're like a lot better than the average bears
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
