I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
