haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s