I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.