I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE