never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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