Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
