My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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