I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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