goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
