it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize