she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
