thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
