you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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