i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you had me at cake vodka
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
