my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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