But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i believe in u and ur pee
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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