never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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