the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
