So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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