My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize