you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
