Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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