Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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