So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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