Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
