I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize