Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bring money and cleavage
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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