he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
