More tranny stories later!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
