dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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