I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I need water and some morals
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
