The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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