ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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