She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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